When I Look At You
by kaibrowninthesky
Summary: Where Isabella Swan suffers from a mental disorder, and the beautiful vampire, Rosalie Hale helps her through it.


**Chapter 1**

I was young when my mother died. Only 12. But I still remembered it like it was yesterday. My doctors all used to say her death was what triggered my illness. If it could even be called that.

I have Intermittent Explosive Disorder, or IED for short. It's basically anger issues on steroids. I have sudden episodes that I can't control, nor can I stop them from happening. It's like, one minute I'm perfectly fine and then the next all I see is red.

When I'm not constantly pissed at the world, I'm a normal American teenager. I'm awkward, socially and physically. Like I'm tall, yet I'm lanky. I have ridiculously pale skin even though I lived in Phoenix for the last few years of my life. Until I moved to Forks, Washington a year and a half ago.

It's hard for me to go out and make friends, and it's not like I could really use my disease as an excuse. I'm just an awkward person. I can't talk to people as easily as others. I think I get that from my dad, Charlie. He's lived in Forks his whole life. Never left. I wasn't sure if it was because he never bothered to or just never wanted to.

My mom used to tell me all the time that there were two types of people in Forks. The stupid and the stuck. The ones who are bound to stay and the ones who are too stupid to go. I guess you could guess which one my father was since he chose to stay.

My mom, was the .1% of the town that got away. Guess that's why my parents never worked out. My mother was a Wild Child, even after having me. And Charlie was mellow, awkward, and collected. He liked to stick to what he knew, and my mother liked to branch out and discover something new.

Don't get me wrong. I love both of my parents. I mean Renee was the coolest mom to ever live. She was bright and cheerful, and always knew how to make me feel better. She was a child at heart, and sometimes I had to take care of her. But I didn't mind. It gave me a purpose. And Charlie, well, he's a great dad. He takes care of me, and he provides me with a few awkward conversations like most dads do.

Even though I hated coming to Forks to see him, we always had something to do or talk about together. We bonded over our shared love of baseball and burgers and how awkward the both of us were. You see, when you get Charlie and I alone in a room it mainly consists of awkward silence or conversation. But we worked. And well, he was putting up with me. It was as if he had been doing it since I was diagnosed, but in actuality he's only been doing it for the last year and a half or so.

After my mother's death, my grandparents thought it best if I stayed to live with them in Phoenix. It was right after I was diagnosed. They didn't think I would have been ready to make such a drastic move. Charlie didn't argue. Which I was actually rather thankful for because like I said, I hated Forks.

Charlie would visit me most of the time in Phoenix, or we would meet up together in California or somewhere halfway. I had only been to Forks once after my mom died, and that was to visit Charlie's best friend, Billy, in the hospital after his accident.

After a few years of putting up with me and trying to help me, my grandfather had a heart attack and my grandmother gave up and sent me to live with Charlie. It wasn't their fault. I was a handful. I knew that. With my illness, I had always seemed to pop off at the smallest things. I was constantly in fights, and I even punched a teacher. They tried, and they couldn't handle it.

Charlie welcomed me with open arms, even got me a therapist to talk to in Port Angeles, the closest city to Forks. It wasn't a huge city or anything, but it was enough to have a movie theater that played movies a month after release and a few restaurants and shops.

Charlie was always helpful when it came to my illness. Made the appropriate school trips to the principal's office after a blackout. He got my meds for me whenever I ran out. He was always so supportive. Even if he was the most awkward person I knew.

"Bells! Wake up! You're gonna be late for school!" Charlie pounded on my door.

I turned my head from where I was standing at my dresser to look at my closed door, "I'm already up, Charlie," I said. I had never been comfortable calling Charlie dad. It wasn't because I didn't seem as a father, I did. But it was the way our relationship was set up. The last time I had called him dad was before my mom died.

He never complained when I called him by his name. He said he preferred it than me calling him an asshole or Chief Swan.

"Breakfast in five, Bella," Charlie said before I heard his footsteps step away from door and move towards the stairs. I sighed as I looked back at myself in the mirror. I wore my normal, casual outfit. Which consisted of a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, a white t-shirt that read "Do You Read Me?", a black and red flannel, and a pair of black Converses.

I grabbed my backpack and my car keys. I walked out of my room and down the stairs. I walked to the breakfast table, where Charlie was sitting and eating eggs with his newspaper in his hands.

"Morning, Charlie" I said as I reached to grab a piece of the burnt bacon that was on the plate meant for me.

"Morning, Bella. Did you take your meds today?" He asked without looking up from his paper.

"Come on, Charlie. You know they make me feel groggy," I frowned as I looked at my father and he looked up at me with a single raised eyebrow. I sighed as I opened my backpack and pulled my medication from the front pocket. I opened the bottle and poured two pills into my hand. I quickly popped them in my mouth and swallowed them. I looked at my dad, "Happy, now?"

"Yep. Good job, kiddo," Charlie looked back at his paper, "No fights today, Bella. It's your first day of Junior year. I don't need any calls saying you got into it with some football player on your first day."

"He started it. He shouldn't have touched me," I shrugged casually. Charlie sighed as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Eat," he said firmly.

"Can't! I promised Angela, Eric, and Mike I'd meet them before first bell to go over our schedules," I grabbed my bag and walked to the front door. I grabbed my jacket from the hook, "See ya later!" And before he could say anything I was out the door.

I walked to my truck. Aka my baby. It was a 1963 Chevrolet C-10 Pickup. My dad had gotten it for me last year as a homecoming present. It wasn't in the best of shape, but I didn't have many issues with it. And when I did, I just took it to my Jacob, one of my best friends.

I opened the door and tossed my backpack into the seat. I quickly shrugged my jacket on before climbing into the truck. I started it up and pulled off away from my house. I tapped my hands against the steering wheel. My phone rang from my backpack and I glanced over at it.

I looked back at the road as I went to dig around in my bag for my phone, "Where the hell is it?" I frowned as I continued to search. I looked at the road before glancing at my bag. I finally grabbed my phone and pulled it out. By the time I looked back up, some douche in a huge ass Jeep sped past me. My eyes widened as I had to suddenly jerk my truck over out of the way so the Jeep could drive pass without hitting my truck.

"Fucking douchebag! Watch where you're going!" I shouted as I punched my steering wheel then lifted my hand to flip the driver off.

I growled in annoyance, my jaw clenched as I drove to school. Once I reached the school, I parked in my usual parking spot. My eyes narrowed when I saw the Jeep that passed me not even a few minutes ago. Great, so whoever drives this Jeep goes here. They better hope I don't find out who they are.

I grabbed my bag and my phone, climbing out of my car. I walked into the school, a glare now settled on my face. I walked to my locker with my jaw clenched tightly.

"Damn, Bells. Who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?" Eric asked as I approached my locker where he and Angela had been waiting.

"Some douchebag in a big Jeep almost ran me off the road," I huffed as I opened my locker I grabbed the few books I would need for my first half of classes.

"What? Are you okay?!" Angela asked as she checked me over with her eyes. My friends all knew better than to touch me. Everyone knew better than to touch me. Any type of physical contact could set me off and I could get rather aggressive, rather quickly.

"I'm fine, Angela. But whoever that jackass is better hope I don't find them," I huffed as I slammed my locker shut harshly, causing the slam to echo across up and down the hall.

"What's got Bella so angry this time?" Mike asked as he approached the group now, with his girlfriend Jessica hanging off of his arm.

"Did you take your medication this morning, Bella?" Angela asked, ignoring Mike's question as she looked at me in concern. I rolled my eyes silently as I nodded my head.

"Yes, Angela. I did. I took it right before I left the house."

Angela was the most worrisome of my friend group. She was basically like another parent for me. She always tried to make sure I took my medication. My father had even put her in charge of making sure I took them while at school. She had been my first friend at Forks High and one of my best friends. Eric and Mike had followed soon after due to the fact that they were all within the same friend group.

Angela was one of the nicest people I had ever met. She remained at my side despite how angry I could get sometimes. She was also one of the only people who could get me to cool down if I have an outburst. Only her, Jacob, and my father have been able to do it so far. It's not easy to calm me down, but Angela made it seem that way.

"Good. Don't worry about the Jeep, okay? You're alive, right? So just relax. It's the first day of school. You don't need to get in trouble."

I sighed as I nodded my head silently.

"Great! Now let's get to class," Angela said.

"Schedules!" Mike shouted as he reached into his back pocket to pull his schedule paper out. I pulled my schedule out of my jacket pocket. Angela and Eric both pulled out their schedules and Jessica did as well. Who invited her to this party? We all held the papers out to look over them.

Class Schedule:

8am to 8:30am: Homeroom with Mr. Johnson

8:35am to 9:20am: Trigonometry with Mrs. Harris

9:25am to 10:05am: English with Ms. James

10:10am to 10:50am: Spanish with Mrs. Hernandez

10:55am to 11:35: Gym

11:40am to 12:00pm: Lunch

12:05pm to 12:55pm: Biology with Mr. Molina

1:00pm to 1:50pm: Study Hall/Free Period

1:55pm to 2:40: AP American History with Mr. Kyle

"Bella, you and I share Homeroom and Spanish together," Angela said with a bright smile.

"And I have English with Bella," Eric pointed out.

"Bella and Jessica are in my gym class," Mike said as he motioned towards our schedules, "And Bella's in my Biology class."

"You're taking AP American History, Bella? Why?" Eric asked as he looked over at me and I offered a casual shrug.

"Just wanted to, I don't know," I said.

"Well looks like we all share a class or two with one another," Eric said.

"Well, maybe we should head to homeroom. We have a minute before we're late," Angela said. We all immediately nodded our heads. We said our goodbyes then turned to go our separate ways. Angela and I walking on to our classroom.

Once we reached the classroom, I immediately took my seat in the back of the class. Angela followed after me and sat down in the spare seat in front of me. We had just arrived before the bell. I leaned back in my seat, looking around as I gnawed at lower lip.

I looked down at the book I had grabbed. I usually read in my Homeroom, since nothing productive ever really happened. I grabbed my iPod and switched on music as I put my earphones in. I opened the book I had started just last night, To Kill A Mockingbird. I opened the book and silently began to read.

I had barely gotten pass the second sentence of the third chapter when someone slammed a hand down on my desk. I lifted my eyes from my book as well as lifted an eyebrow. Samuel Brown, the school's quarterback, was standing there glaring down at me with his arms crossed against his chest. His girlfriend of the week, Amber Jones, standing beside him. I clenched my jaw as I silently pulled an earphone out.

"Can I help you?" I asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"You're in my seat, Swan. Move it," he huffed.

"I don't see your name on it, Jockstrap," I responded, trying to remain calm as I glared at the football player obviously on steroids. Angela looked at me with wide eyes, but I ignored her looks of concern as I continued to glare at the jock.

"It's right there," Amber pointed on the scratch marks on the desk. I didn't bother to look at where she was pointing. Instead I continued to glare at the pair, "Hey, bitch, I'm talking to you!" She grabbed my wrist and I snapped.

"Bella, no!"

I grabbed her wrist in my free hand and quickly pulled it off of mine. I quickly twisted her arm and watched as she dropped to her knees, shrieking from the pain, "Don't touch me," I growled out.

"Bella! Let her go before Mr. Johnson walks in," Angela snapped and I glared at Amber before looking at Samuel. I kept my grip on his girlfriend's wrist as I narrowed my eyes on him.

"Better teach your girlfriend not to mess with me, Samuel. I'm not afraid of her, and I'm definitely not afraid of you. Just because you take steroids doesn't mean I can't kick your ass. Remember last year?"

Samuel didn't respond, he just continued to glare at me.

"Bella," Angela said and I clenched my jaw.

"Isabella Swan! What do you think you're doing?" Mr. Johnson had walked in. I turned to look at the front of the class where he stood with his arms crossed against his chest. I sighed as I let Amber go and rose to my feet. I gathered my books and walked towards the front of the class.

"Principal's office, yeah, I know," I said as I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I slipped out of the classroom and walked down the hall to the principal's office.

Once I reached the main office, I lifted an eyebrow at the sight of a group of five kids standing all together outside of the office. They were obviously new here. They all looked way to out of place to live in a small town like Forks. They dressed like super models and looked like them. They had to be the most beautiful kids I had ever laid eyes on.

There were three boys and two girls. One of the boys had cropped short brown hair. He was the largest of them all. His stature kind of resembled that of a bear. He was muscular and tall. The other boy, the next in height, was a boy with bronze hair. It was purposefully messy as if he had never heard of a comb in his life. He was lanky and tall. The final boy had blonde hair, he looked to be in pain. His face contorted as if something were hurting him.

There was a pixie of a girl hanging off of his arm. She had brown hair that was styled into pixie cut. She wore a smile on her face and she moved with an elegance about her. The last girl had to be the most beautiful girl I had ever laid eyes on. She had blonde hair and flawless skin. She wore a glare on her face, but it didn't deter me because I could see every ounce of her beauty.

They all shared similar traits, like their ridiculously pale skin. Like, they were paler than I was, and that was saying something because I was pale as hell. And their topaz, almost golden, colored eyes. They were standing outside with the principal, who sighed as soon he saw me.

"Already, Swan?" He asked me and I offered a shrug of my shoulders as I approached the group. I ignored the looks that the new kids were giving me as I looked at Principal Perry.

"It wasn't my fault," I tried to defend, and he just sighed.

"Go on in, I'll be right there," he said before looking at the new kids, "You five may sit down in the office for a moment. Then I can show you to your classes," he promised the new kids. I didn't wait to see what they would say because I had already began ti walk into the office. I walked into Mr. Perry's office and took a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk.

I waited for him to walk in. I sighed as I leaned back in the chair and crossed my arms against my chest. I turned to see him walking into the office. He shut the door as he walked to his desk.

"Bella, what are we going to do with you?" He asked as he took a seat behind his desk.

"She touched me, Mr. P. You know I don't like being touched," I said casually.

"Violence isn't the answer," Mr. Perry said and I shrugged.

"It's my answer."

"Did you take your medication this morning?"

I groaned and rolled my eyes, "I love how the first solution to a problem is drugs. You guys preach and preach about how bad drugs are then pile drugs onto the first kid that isn't all that right in the head."

"Isabella," his tone held a bit of warning. And I sighed.

"Yes, I took my meds this morning. My dad wouldn't let me leave the house until I did."

"Then they probably just still need to kick in. I'm not going to send you home, yet."

"Thanks, Mr. P. I'm not sure my dad could handle another first day of school call," I said in relief. I didn't like to worry Charlie. I tried to be good. I really did. It was just so hard when you suffer from a mental illness that literally makes you mad at everything.

"Don't thank me yet. You still need to be punished. And I've decided your punishment will be to show the new students around the school. Three of them are in your grade and I'm sure since you are an AP student you'd share classes with the other two."

"Oh come on, Principal Perry. Do you really think I'm the right person for this job? Maybe you should ask like Angela or Eric. Hell, even Mike. I'd probably just scare them away. I mean have you met me?"

"You won't. Because the second I hear that you've physically or verbally harmed one of these students I will have you in in-school suspended for four weeks in an instant for the altercation this morning and whatever you do to them."

No one liked in-school suspension. It was basically solitary confinement in the basement of the school with this old teacher named Mrs. Hack, who's partially deaf and yells everything she says. No phones, no games, and no talking.

I sighed as I nodded my head, "Okay, okay. I'll do it."

"I knew you'd see things my way. Come on then, let's meet them."

I rose to my feet and followed Mr. P to the door of his office. He pulled it open and allowed me to walk out first. We walked to the Cullens who all remained standing in the office, speaking amongst themselves.

"Cullens, meet Bella Swan. Bella, the Cullens," Mr. P introduced and I looked at all of them to see them all looking at me in return.

"Er, hi," I waved my hand awkwardly.


End file.
